Breaking Free of the Co-Dependency Trap,9780913299494

Breaking Free of the Co-Dependency Trap

by ; ;
ISBN13: 9780913299494
ISBN10: 0913299499
Format: Paperback
Pub. Date: 2006-07-25
Publisher(s): New World Library
List Price: $14.93

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Summary

The authors' unique, step-by-step approach to treating co-dependency has successfully helped many people overcome the devastating effects of this culturally ingrained societal problem and shows how to bring control back to an individual's life.

Author Biography

Dr. Barry Weinhold is a licensed psychologist and professor of education at the University of Colorado, Colorado Springs. Dr. Janae Weinhold is a psychotherapist and instructor at U.C.C.S. The Weinholds co-direct the Colorado Institute for Conflict Resolution and Creative Leadership, and the Family Training Center in Colorado Springs.

Table of Contents

Foreword xiii
Acknowledgments xv
Introduction xvii
Causes of Adult Co-Dependency
xvii
The Medical Model: No Recovery
xix
A New Definition of Freedom
xix
Two Traditional Types of Recovery Programs
xx
A New Recovery Approach
xxi
PART ONE - Co-dependency Revisited 1(56)
Co-dependency: Getting Stuck In Infancy
3(15)
An Overview of the Problem
3(1)
Assumptions of the New Approach
4(2)
A New Definition of Co-dependency
6(1)
Characteristics of Co-dependency
7(3)
Recovery From Co-dependency
10(1)
Resources for Recovery
11(1)
Case Example
12(4)
Awareness Activity: How Co-dependent Are You?
16(2)
The Medical Model: Struck In Hopelessness
18(8)
An Overview of Traditional Approaches
18(1)
Key Assumptions of the Medical Model
19(1)
Traditional Definitions of Co-dependency
20(1)
Case Example
21(1)
Another Approach
22(2)
The Stages of Recovery
24(1)
Summary
25(1)
The Co-dependent Culture
26(11)
Dominator vs. Partnership Models
26(1)
The Partnership Society
27(1)
The Dominator Society
28(1)
The Influence of Christianity
29(3)
Co-dependent Systems
32(3)
The Consciousness Revolution: The Why Behind the Co-dependency Epidemic
35(2)
A Developmental Approach to Recovery
37(12)
Main Principles of a Developmental Approach
38(1)
Four Stages of Relationship
39(1)
Main Developmental Tasks of Early Childhood
40(1)
Bonding: The Critical Task of Co-dependency
41(2)
Separation: The Critical Task of Counter-dependency
43(2)
When the Process Breaks Down
45(1)
Case Example
46(2)
Summary
48(1)
The Causes of Co-dependency
49(8)
The Role of the Father
49(2)
Object Constancy
51(1)
The Replay in Adult Relationships
52(1)
The Drama Triangle
52(2)
Case Example
54(2)
Summary
56(1)
PART TWO - The Recovery Process 57(186)
The Elements of Recovery
59(13)
The Elements of Recovery
59(1)
Working on Yourself Alone
60(1)
Choosing a Therapist Who Understands
61(1)
Support Groups, Classes and Workshops
62(1)
The Three C's: Committed, Conscious and Cooperative Relationships
63(1)
A New 12-Step Process of Recovery
64(4)
Case Example
68(3)
Summary
71(1)
Facing Your Problem
72(14)
The Roots of Denial
73(1)
Discounting
74(1)
``For Your Own Good''
75(1)
Dishonesty: A Form of Denial
76(1)
Denial and Craziness
77(1)
The Happy Family Syndrome
77(1)
Denial in Relationships
78(1)
Breaking Through Denial
79(1)
Tools for Breaking Through Denial
80(2)
Case Example
82(2)
Summary
84(2)
Understanding the Causes of Co-dependency
86(11)
Tools for Understanding the Causes of Co-dependency
90(3)
Case Example
93(2)
Summary
95(2)
Unraveling Co-dependent Relationships
97(10)
Identifying Co-dependent Patterns
97(2)
Family Roles
99(2)
Tools for Unraveling Co-dependency
101(4)
Case Example
105(2)
I Have Met The Enemy and It Is I
107(14)
The Enemy: Part of Myself
108(2)
Projection
110(2)
Intimacy Begins With Loving Yourself
112(1)
Forgiveness
113(1)
Integrating Internal Parts
114(1)
Tools For Reclaiming Lost Parts
115(3)
Case Example
118(3)
Eliminating Self-Hate
121(11)
The Roots of Self-Hate
121(1)
Black and White Thinking
122(1)
Self-Love
123(1)
Self-Talk
123(2)
Self-Esteem
125(2)
Affirmations
127(1)
Tools for Learning to Love Yourself
128(2)
Case Example
130(2)
Giving Up Power and Control Games
132(15)
Passivity: The Master Game of Co-dependency
133(1)
Passive Behaviors and How to Comfront Them Effectively
133(2)
How to Avoid Rescuring
135(2)
One-Up/One-Down Power Moves
137(1)
Tools for Giving Up Power and Control Games
138(4)
Case Example
142(2)
Awareness Activity
144(3)
Learning to Ask for What You Want
147(10)
Assertion Skills
148(1)
Knowing What You Want
149(1)
Confrontation
149(1)
Asking For What You Want: A Nine-Step Process
150(1)
When Conflict Results
151(1)
Conflict as Intimacy
152(1)
Tools for Learning to Ask for What You Want
153(2)
Case Example
155(2)
Learning to Feel Again
157(9)
What Are Feelings?
157(3)
Co-dependent Ways to Handle Feelings
160(1)
Healthy Ways to Handle Feelings
160(1)
Tools for Learning to Feel Again
161(3)
Case Example
164(2)
Healing Your Inner Child
166(14)
Narcissistic Wounds
166(4)
The Conditions That Stifled the Development of the True Self
170(1)
The Steps in the Progression of Co-dependency
171(1)
The Healing Process
171(1)
Tools for Healing Your Inner Child
172(4)
Case Example
176(4)
Building Your Boundaries
180(14)
Symbiotic Families
180(1)
The Co-dependent Family
181(1)
Daring to be Different From Your Co-dependent Family
182(1)
Who Owns the Problem
183(1)
Boundaries
184(1)
Individuated Family
184(1)
Incest and Sexual Abuse
184(3)
A Cultural Epidemic
187(2)
Thoughts About Boundaries
189(1)
Tools for Building Your Boundaries
190(2)
Case Example
192(2)
Forming Bonds of Intimacy
194(15)
Bonding: A Critical Requirement
194(1)
The Elements of Bonding
195(3)
Bonding and Learning
198(3)
Bonding and Committed Relationships
201(1)
Tools for Forming Bonds of Intimacy
202(4)
Case Example
206(3)
New Forms of Relationship
209(10)
Interdependency
209(1)
The Characteristics of a Conscious, Committed, Cooperative Relationship
210(1)
Nourishing and Toxic Relationships
211(1)
Tools for Creating New Forms of Relationship
212(5)
Case Example
217(2)
Healing the Co-dependent Society
219(11)
Healing Society by Healing Yourself
219(1)
Healing Society Through Committed Relationships
220(1)
Healing Society Through Community
220(2)
Healing Society Through Servant Leadership
222(1)
Tools for Healing the Co-dependent Society
223(5)
Case Example
228(2)
How We Changed Our Co-dependent Patterns
230(13)
Janae's Story
230(3)
Barry's Story
233(3)
Our Story
236(1)
How We Met
236(2)
The Journey to Interdependence
238(2)
A New Understanding of Co-dependency
240(1)
Our Perspective on Relationships
241(2)
Bibliography 243

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