Hey, you! The one holding the book. Have you ever seen a volume like this? Well, whether you realize it or not, it's the one you've been waiting for. Jeff Foxworthy's Redneck Dictionary will teach you how to speak this unique Southern dialect fluently. Whether you're blue-collar or hoity-toity, swimming in cash or betting your bottom dollar, a little bit country or a lot of city slicker, this practical reference to redneck words and turns of phrases will give you hours of laughs. So expand your horizons and learn another language with this fun, instructive, and hilariously illustrated book as your guide. After all, speaking redneck is a heck of a lot easier than speaking French! From the Hardcover edition.

Jeff Foxworthy is the largest-selling comedy-recording artist in history, a multiple Grammy Award nominee, and the bestselling author of eleven books. He stars in and executive produces the television series Blue Collar TV, which he created for the WB network. Jeff also has an HBO special and two Showtime specials to his credit. His syndicated weekly radio show, The Foxworthy Countdown, is carried in more than 220 markets across the United States. He lives with his wife and two daughters in Atlanta.

Aa afar (e-far), n. an object in the state of combustion. "There's no sense bein' this cold-let's build afar." Alaska (el-ask-e), n. and v. to resolve to make an inquiry. "If I wanna know where to find a polar bear, Alaska guy who lives here." allowed (e-lau?d), adj. distinguished by an intense elevation of volume. "Did you just hear allowed noise?" annuity (e-nu-et-e), n. and v. having forethought or intuition. "I couldn't hear him, but annuity was sayin'." apparent (e-per-ent), n. one who sires or gives birth to offspring. "It's obvious to me from lookin' at yer belly that yer gonna be apparent." Armageddon (arm-e-ge-din), n. and v. putting oneself in a position for action. "I tell ya, if it gets any crazier, Armageddon outta here." armature (ar-me-chu?r), v. and adj. displaying exceptional wisdom, experience, and/or age. "I know sometimes I acts like a kid but I really armature." asinine (as-e-n?n), n. favorable praise of the hind end, to the positive ninth integer. "Man, I would give her face a two and her asinine." asparagus (e-sper-e-ges), n. ambivalence about having to install a replacement for an air-filled rubber wheel. "I got a flat, so I'm gonna have to put on asparagus." aspect (as-pekt), n. and v. having one's backside assaulted by a sharp object. "He got done skinny-dippin', passed out on that deck chair, and had his aspect by a woodpecker." asthma (az-me), v. to make an inquiry to a person of familiar acquaintance. "I don't know if I can go or not. Lemme asthma wife." atom (at-em), prep. and n. in the direction of something or someone. "Two deer jumped outta the woods and we just started shootin' atom." attacks (e-taks), n. a percentage of one's assets taken annually by a governing body. "If you let 'em, I swear the government would put attacks on the air." avenue (av-e-nu), n. and v. to declare possession of something recently acquired. "Avenue address, but I don't remember it." Bb banner (ban-er), v. and n. to prohibit a female person from a specific location. "Cody's grandma cusses so much, they're gonna banner from the Little League park." barrier (ber-e-er), v. and n. to conceal or cover a female, usually under earth or debris. "She died while on vacation, so I think they decided to barrier on the beach." bayou (b?-u), v. and n. to purchase for another. "I just walked right up to her and said, 'Hey darlin', lemme bayou a drink.' " beer (bir), v. to express one's desire to or remain at a specific location, usually during intoxication. "I'll beer till ten, then I gotta get home." beetle (be-til), v. and conj. to exist for an unspecified amount of time. "How long do you think it's gonna beetle they figure out we're gone?" believe (be-lev), n. and v. a demand for the Bombus ruderatus to vacate the immediate vicinity. "Oh no! I'm allergic! Believe me alone!" bemoan (be-mon), v. and adj. to declare possession by oneself. "I don't like takin' orders. That's why I gotta bemoan boss." bigots (big