Why Does He Do That? : Inside the Minds of Abusive and Controlling Men

by
Format: Hardcover
Pub. Date: 2002-09-30
Publisher(s): Putnam Adult
List Price: $28.83

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Summary

In this groundbreaking book, domestic violence expert Lundy Bancroft uses his unique perspective as a therapist for abusive and controlling men to help women, their children, and other family members who have been touched by abuse understand why abusers behave the way they do and what can be done about it. Bancroft teaches women how to survive and improve an abusive relationship; how to determine how dangerous an abuser is and when it is impossible to rectify a situation; and how to get out of a relationship safely. Bancroft identifies nine types of abusive men, addressing different styles, from the physical batterer to the strictly verbal abuser. He dispels the pervasive societal myths surrounding abuse, exposing common excuses used by abusers, such as having experienced an abusive childhood or substance addiction. Bancroft answers commonly asked questions, such as what warning signs of abuse to look for early in a relationship; what is and isn't abusive behavior; how to know if a woman and her children are in danger; and how to tell when a man is really changing. Why Does He Do That?gets to the heart of abusive men's thoughts and behaviors, making it a vital resource for victims of domestic violence, their families, and professionals. This empowering book gives women the tools they need to get back in control of their own lives.

Author Biography

Lundy Bancroft has spent the last fifteen years of his career specializing in domestic abuse and the behavior of abusive men and is considered one of the world's experts on the subject. He is the author of journal articles on abuse that have appeared in The New England Journal of Medicine and The Journal of Contemporary Psychology. The former codirector at Emerge, the nation's first program for abusive men, Bancroft now practices in Massachusetts while training various state and judicial agencies in dealing with domestic abuse situations.

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments ix
Note on Terminology xiii
Introduction xvii
PART I The Nature of Abusive Thinking
The Mystery
3(18)
The Mythology
21(28)
The Abusive Mentality
49(27)
The Types of Abusive Men
76(33)
PART II The Abusive Man in Relationships
How Abuse Begins
109(27)
The Abusive Man in Everyday Life
136(35)
Abusive Men and Sex
171(20)
Abusive Men and Addiction
191(19)
The Abusive Man and Breaking Up
210(25)
PART III The Abusive Man in the World
Abusive Men as Parents
235(38)
Abusive Men and Their Allies
273(18)
The Abusive Man and the Legal System
291(26)
PART IV Changing the Abusive Man
The Making of an Abusive Man
317(17)
The Process of Change
334(33)
Creating an Abuse-Free World
367(24)
Resources 391(10)
Index 401

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